Unimportant
by Donnie's Kunoichi
Summary: Mikey is beginning to fade…*rated T for suicide attempt, important note inside to all my followers. 2012'verse, set sometime in early season 3*


Before Note: I am very sorry, guys. My progress into my storywriting is decreasing drastically. I know I promised alot of you that I would return soon the first week of January, but I've been hit _severely _with depression. I can't and won't stop crying at the most random of times, I don't wanna hang out with anyone, and I'm always alone in my room. My school's Sadie Hawkin's dance was last night and I didn't want to go because I'm too broken in spirits. Everyone, even my Color Guard team is doing all they can to make me feel better, but I just wish I gone from this world sometimes. I'm just writing this very short fanfic in Mikey's perspective with thinking how he is no longer important to his family and wishes to end his life early, as I do. And I'm almost done with my other stories, people, but please, for my sake: Don't send me too many comments into rushing me to update. I am not feeling too well to reason.

And by the way, Buttergriffin332, my biggest fan, I pray for you and an extremely fast recovery into everything you have suffered. I love you and care for you and if you need to talk, I will be here, no matter how long I may take. :3

Disclaimer: TMNT is not mine. My depression is.

* * *

I'm tired of being on this world. I'm tired of being me; the small one, the weak one, the ugliest mutant in this world, as Raph called me one time when we got into a fight. I'm tired of being the most worthless to the team; my older brothers hate me and they always did. They think I'm useless and such a waste to our family. All they think I am is such a goofball and they never take me seriously, even when I'm trying to be serious and come up with good plans. They don't listen to me and they think that Master Splinter's gone, but I refuse to give up hope on him. Well, not like it'll pay off anyway, because I'm ending my life tonight.

No one in the farmhouse was going to understand me anymore than I thought they would. Not my brothers, April or Casey…only Ice Cream Kitty understood me. I feel so bad that I had to leave my adorable, delicious pet. When I told her I end to end it right here, I couldn't believe my eyes to see that she was actually crying. I didn't know cats could even cry! I loved her so much, but her love just wasn't enough to convince me that I should still be alive.

I gave her a final lick and put her in the freezer. Tears were streaming down my face as I gabbed the rope I was going to use to take me away. When I walked past the living room and quietly headed to the door, I could see my brothers and friends having a great time watching one of my favorite shows, Crognard the Barbarian, without me…they were laughing and all that good stuff. Of course they would when I wasn't around. Now they could spend the rest of their lives doing so. I hope they would take good care of Ice Cream Kitty without me.

I didn't start fully sobbing until I quietly made it out of the farmhouse, trying my very best to stay as silent as possible as my feet started creaking the wooden steps. Once I made it to the yard, I started heading toward this big rock that sat underneath a tree with big long branches. I thought it would be the perfect place to use my rope. I found the area earlier during training and didn't mention anything about it to anyone.

I started hiccupping from crying so hard once I made it to the rock. I climbed up on top of it and reached upward to tie my rope around the nearest branch. Once done, I already had the noose ready to come around my throat.

_Well, this is it, _I thought as I stared at the lit farmhouse in the distance. It broke my heart even more knowing that they probably wouldn't know I was dead until sometime later tomorrow. Well, no matter anyways.

_Goodbye forever, guys, _I said quietly in my head and closing my eyes, _it was fun being your brother, but I guess it's time to join Master Splinter now, huh?_

And with that, I brought the noose up to my head…

…but stopped when I felt warm hands on my shoulders. I nearly jumped in terror at the feeling and began to panic. The hands held me down and pressed me against an even warmer body. The body felt familiar. I always sensed it whenever I hugged it.

Donnie, my big brother, was holding me tightly while I saw Leo and Raph out the corners of my eyes. Leo took the rope from my hand and used his sword to cut it from the tree, where I saw April catch it below and hand it to Casey who was standing next to her. Raph helped Donnie who helped me carefully climb back down from the rock, where we all collapsed on the floor against it. Leo joined us.

My brothers. My big brothers were here. Leo, Donnie, Raphie…they were all looking at me with the feeling that matched mine: heartbreak. And I was the one who caused it.

"Mikey…" Raph said in a shaky voice. He took my hand and pressed it against his face and he started to cry. Seeing Raphie cry…followed by Donnie, then Leo…I couldn't take it anymore. I thought that the hardest I had cried earlier would be the last time, but it was nothing compared to this.

I finally broke out all my emotions into one big crying fit. I chocked on my sobs and I could barely see anything through my watery eyes. I felt Donnie pull me back into his arms. He kissed me on the cheek and forehead and whispered, "We love you so much, Mikey.." in my ear. He rested his head on top of mine and rubbed my shell. Raphie didn't let go on my hand and scooted closer to us, wrapping his arm around us both. Leo placed his head on my shoulder and rubbed my neck, trying to wipe his tears away.

I was practically drowning in my own tears, but I didn't care. My brothers were with me, and that's all that mattered. I saw Casey and April standing nearby us, watching the group hug that the four of us completed.

My older brothers hadn't let me go since until they were convinced that I was aware of how much they loved me. If only I were able to make it up somehow to show them that I cared even more about them….how much I loved them even more than they did me. Maybe just staying with them, completing the family, embracing them, was enough.


End file.
